DriveThru – Get What You Need

It’s the 40-year anniversary of the first no-fault divorce laws, and the results are in: it’s bad policy.  At least two generations of children have suffered, and many young adults have never seen a stable marriage, let alone one that lasted more than 30 years.

Ruth Bettelheim recognized the anniversary in a NY Times article and defended the no-fault laws.  Since divorce is here to stay she said, we need to focus on how to “avoid, as much as possible, damaging children.”

Bettelheim is a marriage and family therapist, and she mentions a few studies that no doubt ease the minds of adults.  I say this because she neglects research Elizabeth Marquardt mentions in an unpublished letter to the editor.  One tidbit about “even successful young people”:

Most said their parents did *not* have a lot of conflict after the divorce, and yet the grown children of divorce report a profound and lonely inner conflict, even when their parents did not fight.

Bettelheim tries to avoid it, but reality definitely bites.

In an odd twist, this anniversary falls the year that Dr. Dobson leaves Focus on the Family; this is his last week on campus.  In the 70’s, his work as a child psychologist at USC gave him a window-seat view into the lives of families experiencing divorce.  He started FOF in 1977 in part so he could help more children grow up with both their married mom and dad.

We celebrate Dr. Dobson this week and the calling to which he is so faithful.  And we’ll continue on the path he started—doing all we can to help children grow up with both their mom and dad.

The Manhattan Declaration is bold.  The authors and signers unapologetically defend the sanctity of life and marriage from a biblical and social perspective.  The document also outlines the cultural challenges to the freedom of religion and rights of conscience.

The critics will probably try to spin the Declaration as mean-spirited or short-sighted in view of our ever-changing culture, or something similar, but the respectful and compassionate language used will make it difficult to make the mean-spirited label stick. 

The Declaration is a compassionate voice of advocacy for all humans—especially for the most vulnerable including the aged, disabled and young.   Ultimately, the Declaration and signers seek to defend the defenseless, and this contrasts starkly with the goal of those who want to end life and redefine marriage for their own purposes.

Read the document here.  You can also sign it.