DriveThru – Get What You Need

Proponents of same-sex “marriage” have gone to great lengths to try and convince Americans that gay relationships are fundamentally no different than heterosexual relationships – and therefore gay “marriages” are no different than straight marriages.

However, a recent story in The New York Times highlighting the prevalence of “open” relationships among homosexual couples – “Many Successful Gay Marriages Share an Open Secret” – pulls back the curtain and exposes the gay “marriage” wizard for who and what he is – a fraud.

Here, we learn that a new study from San Francisco State University (SFSU) due out next month will reveal that “open relationships” are common among gay men and lesbians in the Bay area – to the tune of 50% of the gay male couples surveyed. And while gay activists have long claimed that societal “homophobia” is what drives them to be promiscuous, this argument is entirely undermined by the fact that this survey takes place in one of the most liberal and gay-affirming places in America – San Francisco.

Couple this with Joy Behar’s recent comments on “The View” about monogamy being “too much trouble” for gays, and it would seem that even pro-gay liberals can see that there’s a fundamental difference in sexual mores between homosexual and heterosexual relationships.

Of course, this dirty little secret is not news to anybody who knows this community well. Before I walked away from homosexuality myself, I lived as an out and proud gay man for well over a decade. While I had hundreds of gay friends around the world, I never knew of a single gay male couple in a long-term relationship that was monogamous. Eventually each relationship became “open” to one degree or another – which seemed to be the only way the relationships could endure. I even remember seeing threesomes and other “open” couples go forward to receive communion together on a weekly basis at the gay-affirming church I attended.

While we await details from this new SFSU survey, it’s not unreasonable to surmise that the study will echo previous research on gay relationships indicating high levels of sexual infidelity. For example, in 1984, gay researchers McWhirter and Mattison studied 156 gay couples and found a 100% infidelity rate after 5 years. They concluded that non-monogamy was the norm in the gay community.

More recently, in 2003, a Canadian study titled “Relationship Innovation in Male Couples,” revealed that three-quarters of Canadian gay men in relationships lasting longer than one year are not monogamous. Here, the openly gay professor conducting the study concluded that “gay culture allows men to explore different, more successful, forms of relationships besides the monogamy coveted by heterosexuals.”

People who self-identify as gay are perfectly free to forge relationships on their own terms. They may even choose to justify this openness as somehow aiding in the establishment of stronger, longer-lasting, and more “highly evolved” partnerships.

But to say that these relationships are the same – and then to use this claim as a basis to redefine marriage away from the natural definition of.one man-one woman is deceptive.

Fidelity and monogamy may be “too much trouble” for a significant percentage of people in the gay community, but they’re central features of heterosexual marriage.